My shadow is my best friend,

He would be there till the end,

I’m not worried about tomorrow,

Coz he will be there through my sorrow,

This life is like a golf ball,

Aim high and far to get a birdie

But it aint gone be perfect to always get the glory,

My life credo is the tree,

It stands on it’s on freely

So that’s what I am meant to be,

Reaching for the sky I stand alone,

With no one else, I stand alone,

My heavenly father please show me your mercy,

I don’t deserve to live in this misery,

You took away mom and gave me a broken home,

I thank you for that, If Job can complaint in the bible why cant I,

I pray that you shorten this life,

I pray that me and my shadow can walk in your light,

I pray death can come now,

So that on judgment day you would have less to say,

It is getting harder then I thought,

This righteous path is hard,

I am finding a meaning of this life.. lord,

It’s just that my history is haunting me,

Lord, I am sick of this life,

So sick that I don’t fill like living it,

Sick of the pain and shame it’s causing me,

I don’t want to be strong; all I want is the end,

Coz I am already at the dead end…

This is a story of the folly,
Who just wanted to make money,
So much so he just got addicted to work,
Pleased his bosses, even if he had to be a jerk.

Now his down in love,
Crazy trying to please her,
Insanely thinking about the future,
Would she be in the picture...

She is my heart desire,
My destiny is plotted by my savior,
My heavenly father would be the judge of my action,
I pray Father that you keep me away from temptation.

All hope was gone,
Love was never mine,
Thought she was not the one,
She had the light and I had a dark mind.

She spoke so little, her action overwhelmed my perception,
How is she so strong, how can she be so calm,
Question after question, her prayer affected my action,
I started having affections and now life is about purification.

Thank you my dear darling, if it was not for you,
I would have been stuck under the devils snare,
If I was thrown into the lions dean,
I would not fear coz my life is in my savior’s hand.

   I know you must be thinking that he wants to change 100%, yes I am trying so hard, but because my action and words have become so part of me I don’t even know that I am actually doing those things I should not… This is call behavior, when you do something that action or speak those word repeatedly for several times it automatically becomes your Habit… and habit would be the had part of life to change. I am going through this process… Many of my friends think that I am going crazy, and others say that this is just for temporary, and that old Kumar will surely show up. You see I pray every single day and read my Bible now…Adrian at work would come by to my desk and see what I am doing…guess what, I am reading the Bible at work, and he just goes shaking his head….wakakaka….Adrian is My half brother (this part here its hard to explain. it was long ago when I was stone I gave him this name)…and his like family to me…

I know why I want to change, it’s because I WANT TO and that is the only reason. It’s as plain as it can get. I know what is freedom, some of you who know me will understand what I am saying, I have a Job, house and a car, so i can do whatever I want rite!!!...at one point in my life I wanted to experience all…anything I can do, I want to do it…but most of the things were bad…and I find that the only challenging thing for me that is hard to do is to live a holy and pure life…without sinning…its very hard…that is why we keep asking Jesus for forgiveness.

And now I am fulfilling that mission, I am the lost prodigal sons who come back to his Father.

We can only change what we have become and not change what God has made us. God made us all unique in our on ways…so we must not change that very part of us, but if you do then you would have become somebody you are not. So be who you are and try doing things that a right, so that eventually that will lead to become agood habit in your live..this goes to me too..